Question the Penguins
by Leondra
Summary: Joey reads National Geographic, much to the shock of everyone, and craziness, miscommunication, and fluff ensues. JoeyChandler slash.


**AN: Hello, darlings! I am back with a vengance- well, a very fluffy vengance. Anyway, this is slash. There is no way in which this can be construed as anything other than Joey/Chandler slash. If you don't like it, please don't read it. Thank you. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Neither is the adorable (true!) story of the two gay penguins.**

**Warnings: As I mentioned above, slash (not hardcore- two men kissing), usage of the f-word, and miscommunication. **

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It all happened completely unexpectedly. One morning, Chandler faced a showdown with the coffeemaker and debated whether or not it was worth it this early to go to _Central Perk_, his usual daily routine. The next morning, he found the first penguin.

It was drawn extremely crudely on a stained napkin, one flipper raised in a sort-of wave, lying casually beside Chandler's (empty) coffee cup. Chandler found himself staring at it as he attempted to fix his tie, wondering vaguely where it came from and what it meant. Well, actually, where it came from wasn't really a question. Chandler certainly hadn't drawn it, and there was only one other person in the apartment. Although Phoebe had a habit of doing utterly random things, sneaking into their apartment to draw a penguin on a napkin seemed pushing it a bit. But why a penguin? Chandler put the coffee cup in the sink for no real reason (it was _still empty_) and pocketed the drawing, intending to ask Joey about it later.

But Joey almost never woke up before noon, by which time Chandler was at work---and by the time he got home, Chandler had forgotten about the penguin entirely. Joey waved a carton of leftover Chinese food at Chandler as soon as he walked in the door. Technically, the food was leftover from the leftovers of what Chandler had bought to celebrate Joey's guest-star appearance on _Law and Order_ last Friday.

"It's even better the third time around," Joey said, sadly with absolutely no irony in his tone, trying and failing to twirl a lo mein noodle around his chopstick. "Why don't these stupid things twirl?" he muttered, watching as the cold, slippery noodle slid in a spiral off the utensil and onto the floor.

"Because a chopstick isn't a fork, and lo mein isn't spaghetti?" Chandler suggested, smirking.

"Noodles are noodles, and noodles should twirl," Joey complained, setting aside the carton of food. "It's physics."

"I don't think twirl ability is what constitutes a noodle as a noodle Joe," Chandler pointed out, grabbing his own carton of food out of the refrigerator and plopping down on the barka lounger adjacent to Joey's. "And I didn't even know you knew the word physics."

Joey took this comment in stride, picking up his lo mein again. "It doesn't matter. We probably don't need to get into a discussion about what makes a noodle a noodle anyway."

"That would be pretty sad," Chandler agreed. They finished eating without further discussion of noodles.

That night, emptying his pockets of loose change before bed, Chandler came across the penguin. He set it on his nightstand, letting it lean one corner against his alarm clock. He would ask Joey about it tomorrow.

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The next morning brought another penguin, this time nestled in the teeth of his comb. The morning after that found another, the next day another and the next day another. A week went by with seven penguins in all. Every morning, Chandler would tuck it in his pocket, always intending to remind himself to ask Joey. And every day, he'd forget about it or something would distract him. So, every night, he'd take the penguin drawings out of his pocket and line them up alongside the first. Joey never mentioned them at all, never asked if Chandler had noticed or was taking his penguin drawings. Another week passed, and it became such an unspoken part of Chandler's routine that he began to doubt if it was, in fact, Joey who was leaving the drawings. In his coat pocket, laying on top of his briefcase, tucked within the fringe of his scarf… It almost became like a game for Chandler to see how fast he could find the penguin in the morning.

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Then one morning, Chandler decided to try an experiment. Instead of taking the penguin from its resting spot on top of his toothbrush, he left it there and carried on with his day. He imagined that he could feel the difference of weight in his pocket, but dismissed the notion as just plain ridiculous. When he got back from work, the door to Joey's bedroom was firmly closed and the loft was eerily quiet.

The penguin was gone. Chandler searched through the drawers and even poked around in the trash can, but there was no sign of it. _Fuck. _He went to Joey's door and raised his hand to knock, but the familiar sound of a goal being scored on the foosball table made him pause. Joey had a habit of dragging the foosball table into his bedroom when he was angry (usually at Chandler); like a they were a couple in the middle of a divorce, and Joey was claiming the rights to keep their child. Funny- he hadn't even noticed the foosball table missing from it's spot directly by the door. Lowering his hand, Chandler backed away from the door slowly, resolving himself to give Joey that night to cool down before approaching him.

-----

It took over 24 hours for the foosball table to reappear in the living room and three whole days for the penguins to reappear. Chandler felt the tension ease from his shoulders when he picked up the now-familiar drawing. A floorboard creak stole his attention, and he turned his head just in time to see Joey's door close. With the penguin clutched firmly in his hand, Chandler went over and knocked on Joey's door. It swung open, and Chandler was face to face with a very sheepish-looking Joey.

"Hey," Chandler began, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey," Joey returned, not meeting his eyes.

"So…the penguins?" Chandler prompted, holding the most recent one aloft. Joey's ears turned pink, and his eyebrows knit tightly together.

"Uh. Yeah. That's kind of…"

"What?"

"Well, I…" Joey took a deep breath. "Look, I know it's stupid. I just didn't know how else to say it."

"Say what? You've lost me here."

"Then you left that one in the bathroom, and I thought you had figured it out. I figured you hated me. But you didn't say anything, so I decided to put another one out there, and…"

"Figured what out? Why would I hate you?" Chandler shook his head in bewilderment.

"I'm kind of…inlovewithyou,"

Chandler blinked. "What?" But that was a stupid question when he'd heard Joey's words quite clearly. "You are?" Joey nodded miserably.

"Yeah. So…" He gestured to the scrap of paper in Chandler's hand. "Penguins."

"Wait. What do penguins have to do with being in love with me?" Because Joey loved Hugsy, too? It was a little creepy, being compared to a well-worn stuffed animal, if that was the case. And then Chandler realized this probably wasn't the thing he should be focusing on when your _male _best friend and roommate revealed himself to be in love with you.

Joey groaned. "Okay. I was reading this article the other day-" Chandler raised his eyebrows. Article? Joey even flipped past them in _Playboy. _"-It was about these two guy penguins in Japan or China or something'. They built this nest together, and the scientists kept trying to give them girl penguins to try to get these two guy penguins back into whatever they're supposed to be doin', but they didn't go for it. And I just got the idea of…."

"Drawing me pictures of penguins?" Chandler finished for him.

"Yeah. Like I said, I know it's dumb, but--"

_I'm kissing Joey_, Chandler thought. Then, _I wonder if penguins can kiss. _

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**Reeeeview please? Feedback makes me very happy, even if it's just "I read it". Although of course I love constructive critisism. Or gushing praise. **


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